Laying sneaking in – a mythomaniac next to me (FUN)
OK – here is a story about a former colleague at one of my companies (not saying which one), let’s call him Bob.
One day Bob called in to inform his manager that he would not be coming to work that morning for personal reasons. Now, normally this would be a perfectly reasonable excuse and would lead to no further enquiries. Bob, however, was already known as the interstate call-in-sick champion with an impressive record as the least reliable employee with the most “sick” days. By far! Hence, a bit of prompting was called for:
Manager: What is the nature of your personal problem this time, Bob?
Bob: a close relative passed away and I have to go to the funeral
Manager: Again? … I’m sorry but I find that hard to believe. With the risk of sounding insensitive to your plight, please show me a copy of the obituary or some other form of documentation. I just really need to be sure that you’re not screwing us this time, Bob.
Bob: …………ahhhh……ahem …. Well, you see … it is not a family member… but rather a friend of mine who passed away. …. In a violent car accident… and I was also there with him in the car when it happened….
Manager: Ohhh – that’s terrible, Bob…That is just horrible – you must be devastated…… But, Bob, you do realize that the police keeps a record of all people involved in fatal accidents, right? And so, all I have to do is to call the police and get them to confirm that they took down your social security number as part of the routine investigation..
Bob.: ooohhh, weeeellll, then they would not find my name….. You see …..I was actually not in the car after all.. But I was in another car – and it was my fault that my friend had an accident.. you see,….. we were racing … and it’s was all my fault.
Manager: Wow – that’s really heavy, Bob. Why didn’t you just say so in the first place? Perhaps you can send me a copy of any newspaper clippings or a copy of the standard police rapport documenting the fatal incident – and then we’ll talk no more of this.
Bob: Okay……. Well, actually there never was any accident. The truth is that I am gay and that my boyfriend just died of AIDS. OK?
Manager: Bob …. please try to swing by the office. There is something we need to talk about.